an open letter to george michael

Dear George Michael,

First, I want to thank you for an outstanding show last night in Fort Lauderdale. You really hit a home run with us and I hope you could tell by our screaming and clapping. However, I have a small bone to pick with you.

We paid $127 each for our tickets to your show. I don't know who designed the seating at the stadium, but if I am going to pay $127 to see a concert, I don't want to be arm-to-arm with the person next to me. Yes, I know I am fat. I get all that, but still, these seats were way too close. Poor Steven couldn't even sit down properly because the seat in front of him was jamming into his knees. Luckily we were standing up most of the time grooving to your sweet sounds. I know you didn't design the stadium, but you do set your ticket prices. Our friends across the stadium who paid less for their tickets had lovely seats. Midway through the show we left our seats and joined them, where we were quite comfortable.

Anyway, another gripe I have is that you wrote on your tickets "No opening act, show starts promptly at 8pm". Well, we all showed up promptly at 8pm, but you didn't start singing your cute little heart out until 9pm, a whole hour later. In the meantime we all sat in our mini seats and sweat our faces off. I know you were sick and I appreciate you performing for us, but why did you specifically want us there at 8 when you didn't come on until 9?

I don't want to sound all down, because, George Michael, I really had a great time. You sang most of my favorite songs and your set was out of this world. You are still cute and you can still sing very well, that's what really counts.

My final question for you, George Micheal - do you get a cut of the concession proceeds? Steven and I each had a cocktail and the total for the two drinks (with tip) was thirty six dollars. Yes, that's right. So much, in fact, that I had to use a credit card. Now what is up with that? Next time I am going to bring a flask.

I do have to forgive you, though, because you sang Careless Whisper. That just makes my heart melt, George Michael.

Yours Forever,
Mark