give me some credit

I subscribe to one of those credit report monitoring services. A number of years ago I had "less than perfect" credit and I wanted to work on improving my FICO score. Since then I have made a lot of improvement, yada, yada, yada, but I still subscribe to the service to keep an eye out for identity theft. I don't want to be buying a car or a house and find out that my social security number was used without my knowledge. I have been lucky so far. The only problem I had was that somehow one of my credit card numbers was leaked and someone used it to buy some stuff in California. The credit card company called me that night and asked me about the charges. Since they weren't mine the company took care of everything. But not everyone is so lucky. I have read stories about people's finances being ruined by identity theft. So, the small cost of the monthly monitoring service is well worth it.

Today I received the following email from my credit monitoring service:

Dear Valued Customer,You may have received a recent Score Watch alert noting a large drop to your FICO® score due to a balance increase on your Sallie Mae account. Please note that this is a known reporting error made by the student loan issuer, Sallie Mae and they have resolved the problem.

OK, that's fine. I didn't notice any changes, so I am not worried. But what does scare me is that someone as big as Sallie Mae (whom we all owe student loans to!) can fuck up like this. It's scary. What if it was a small number of people who were affected. What then? Would those people have to fight with Sallie Mae to get the issue resolved? Probably.

Sigh. We should all just use cash.

how to lie to authority figures

Wow, I sure could have used this in school!

How to Lie to Authority Figures

I'll blog more soon. I am too busy these days!

ice from the neighbors

Yesterday we had a BBQ at our house. We invited some friends and we all kept cool in the 90*+ heat by hanging out in our pool. It was a lot of fun and I think everyone had a good time. There were two things that happened that are pretty funny to me.

First, the hamburgers. I don't know what I was thinking, but I made small hamburgers. I have no idea why because we had plenty of burger meat, but for some reason I made them small. So when they were cooked they shrank even more. When they came off the grill they looked like little hockey pucks. I had one and it was fine, but you almost needed to pile 2 of those bad boys on a bun to make a real burger.

The second funny thing to me was when our friend Mike and I went out to get some ice. A few weeks back the house at the end of our little canal was sold and a guy moved in who I knew was gay. It wasn't hard to figure out. Every time he had his friends over they were all men. That's not an uncommon occurrence in Fort Lauderdale anyway, so I put 2 and 2 together and decided he was gay. Yesterday he had some friends over and Mike and I stopped at his house to meet him on our way to get some ice. He just happened to have a bag of ice and gave it to us. We toured his house and had a drink with those guys. It was interesting to see our house down the canal. We know what everyones places look like from our vantage point and it was cool to see the same from another view. Also, he has a load of exotic birds in a cage in his backyard. They are really cute. I'm not a bird person, but he said that they keep having babies and he wants to get rid of them, so if you're in the market for small exotic birds, let me know and I'll hook you up with this guy.

After everyone left last night Steven and I caught up on the Golden Girls re-runs that were building up on our Tivo and then called it a night. I got a little more sun on my face than I wanted, but I should have a great tan for this weekend, Memorial Day Weekend, where hopefully we will have people over again for more swimming and grilling. But this time, no hamburgers!

mariah carey, youtube, chili's

I was listening to that new Mariah Carey song 'Touch My Body' on the radio recently and I thought I heard her sing something about YouTube. No way, right? That's tacky. But, oh yes, she really is singing about YouTube. She is saying that if her trick tapes their escapades that's fine, but girl will come and kick your ass if she sees herself on YouTube. I think that really is how Miss Thang is in real life too. Don't mess with her. On another MC note, I heard the BEST cover of 'Bringing on the Heartache' last night when we were out (well, second best to Def Leppard, of course). I literally turned around to look at the jukebox and see who was singing this incredible cover. Sure enough, it was Mariah Carey. And it isn't a new song either. She released it in 2002. It is soooo good. You can check it out here. I think I am going to listen to it again once The Pet Shop Boys CD is over. I love those crazy British lads! What have I done to deserve this?

We met some of Steven's work friends at Chili's Friday after work. Since Florida does Happy Hour and all the related craziness around that, Chili's participates with 2-for-1 drink specials all day long. Cool, right? Well, sort of. When you order a drink, they bring you TWO. That's OK sometimes, but I don't really want 2 mugs of beer to contend with at once. First, it is going to make me drink faster, and second, the beer gets all warm by the time you have another. Yuck. Warm beer at Chili's. No thank you. But, a little trick we learned, at least with cocktails, is instead of 2 small drinks, you can ask them to bring you one BIG drink. Now that's what I'm talking about!

strange illusion

I received an email today from a friend with this picture attached to it. If you look closely it looks like Albert Einstein, but if you walk back about 10 feet or so, it looks like Marilyn Monroe. Who knew?

the memory keeper's daughter

I Tivo'ed the Lifetime movie premiere of The Memory Keeper's Daughter recently. I read the book last year and it was really good. It makes you think about a lot of different things and the book tells a very interesting story.

The movie was good, but they changed the story enough so that I was disappointed. I won't get into specifics, but if you have read the book and see the movie, you will know exactly what I mean. On one hand, the book was pretty complex in how it described the feelings and emotions of the main characters and that is hard to fit into a two hour movie, but those are important parts of the story and the movie glossed over, and in some cases, changed the way the book described these. In my opinion, this made the movie not as effective. Also, they plain changed the ending and while it was good, it didn't complement the book, which I think is an important factor in movies that are adapted from books.

If you saw the movie and read the book, what did you think?

eye doctor: the dreaded puff of air

I went to the eye doctor today for my annual eye checkup. Everything was fine and my prescription actually went down some. Go figure. And I learned about the most comfortable contact lenses I have ever worn. I don't have my supply yet, but the pair the doctor gave me are so comfortable. I feel like I am wearing flannel pajamas in my eyes, but in a good way.

Never have I liked the glaucoma test. You know, the puff of air they shoot into your eye. Hate it. It isn't that it is painful or anything, but my body just won't get used to the fact that they aren't going to poke you in the eye with a needle. It is just some air. Today it took around five tries before he could get an accurate reading. Every time he "puffed", my head would jerk and I would mess up the reading. After a few puffs my eyes were watering. He made me hold onto the table and jam my head into the machine. But he got a reading finally. Watery, red eyes, yes. Glaucoma, no.

I'll report back later on these miraculous contacts. I have only been wearing them for a short time, but I think I am in love. They are called Acuvue OASYS.

more on airlines squeezing us

My parents are going to be renting a condo down here for the winter, and Steven and I want to bring down my nieces so they can visit everyone over their school vacation in February (they live in Massachusetts). I had enough AA miles for two tickets, but the airline blocked out almost all non-stop flights from Boston to Miami that I could choose from using the miles. So, the girls (13 and 16) were going to have to change planes somewhere, which would require an escort. This required me calling an agent and booking the tickets over the phone. Now, in their defense, the agent I spoke with was very helpful and extremely nice. I appreciated that. But, I had to pay $150 for the escort (no problem, I want the girls to be safe during their connecting flight) AND a $30 "agent fee" because I called to book my reservations and didn't do it over the Internet. Wait, I couldn't do it over the Internet, so why am I paying the fee? Again, this is a case of the airlines grabbing money wherever they can. And they got it. I booked the flights.

One cool thing that I learned through all this is that when their father brings them to the airport in Boston he can go right to the gate with them and make sure they get on the right flight. And I can go right to the gate in Miami and meet them when they arrive. There is no cost for this, thankfully. Do you remember the days when anyone could go to the gates? Those were the days.

airlines: squeezing us any way they can

I sympathize with the airlines. Times are tough for them: people aren't flying as much, fuel costs are through the roof, management and stockholders are up in arms. But give me a break! Today I booked the tickets for our flight to Massachusetts in July. By some stroke of luck, the exit rows were completely open, which was great because both Steven and I like to stretch out a little on flights, which seems to be getting harder and harder to do. For example, we recently flew Southwest Airlines and their open seating policy allowed Steven and I to choose our seats (he likes the window, I the aisle). Sadly, the flight was completely full and a guy about our size was forced to sit in the middle of our row. We felt bad for him (and us) because the Southwest seats are smaller than some other airlines and three big guys in a row is a tight fit.

Anyway, today when I booked the exit row seats, I was presented with an "extra legroom" surcharge of $15 per flight. WTF? They are going to sell those seats anyway, so why the extra charge, you ask? Because they can. The exit row seats sell out first and they know that $15 is not going to break the bank, so they charge the fee. But these little fees keep adding up: $2 for curbside check-in, a few dollars for food on the plane, etc. It is getting pretty expensive to fly these days!

manbabies.com - eerie, but kinda cool

www.manbabies.com

there once was a man from nantucket

Yesterday was International Limerick Day, a little-known holiday. So, in the spirit of this joyous of days, I came up with a little limerick of my own:

There once was a man from Lauderdale
Whose manhood was short and pale
The girls giggled and the boys snickered
But the boy only said
You just wait till you taste my head!

OK, not my best work, but there are strict rules around limericks. I think I stuck to those rules. Plus, what the hell rhymes with Lauderdale?

a day at the beach

Yesterday we went to Fort Lauderdale beach with my parents. They love the beach and so do we, so it was a great excursion idea for us. Steven and I have been to a number of beaches in Florida, but never to Fort Lauderdale beach because parking is really limited. We left for the beach early and were able to find a spot on the street, across from the beach.

It was a very hot day, with temperatures forecast to feel like 101*, and boy did it feel hot. We lathered ourselves up with sunscreen and played in the water. It was a blast. Except for a few things...

There was a group of pelicans around us. They would hang out in the water and then fly up and dive into the water and scoop up a bunch of minnows. It was fun to watch them, but a few times they dove pretty close to us and we were splashed by them. That's OK. Next, we saw a GIANT dark mass swimming in the water. Whatever this was was going really fast down the shoreline. We all immediately jumped out of the water and watched it swim down the coastline. Someone said it was a manatee, but we're not convinced. It was really amazing to see whatever it was because it was so close to us.

A little while later we saw a stingray swimming near the shore. He was really cool to watch, but we didn't go in the water with him because who knows what he would have done to us.

We also saw a rather large fish swim up to the shore and check us out.

I was amazed at the amount of wildlife we saw at the beach in the span of a couple hours. Steven, who loves the beach, but doesn't really dig the water, is now convinced that he will never go into the water again. That's too bad because the water temperature down here never really gets too cold.

taking my life in my hands

My parents are here from up north for a few days and they are using my car while they're here. This isn't a problem because we have two cars and I work near our house. Yesterday my mom dropped me off at work and they were going to pick me up at the end of the day. Easy, right?

Since my parents have a limited knowledge of this area, I try and give them directions that keep them on main roads. As a result, I had a little bit of a walk from my office to where they were going to pick me up. As soon as I opened the door to leave my building I noticed a big lizard at my feet. What is strange about the lizards at work is that they are much uglier than the ugly lizards we have at our house. Also, these lizards are little bastards because they don't run away as you approach them, as the lizards at our house do. They hold their ground and most times I end up stepping around them. So yesterday I was battling with a testy lizard in my path when I looked over and a SNAKE was quietly going into the bushes nearby. I knew there were snakes in the bushes at my work, but I had never seen one. The snake wasn't too big and he was gray, but I am convinced that all snakes are 1) poisonous and 2) eager to bite me. It's a daily struggle for me.

After I had the wildlife experience I walked down the sidewalk of a busy street near my office towards the corner where my folks were going to get me. As I was crossing the sidewalk (I had the white guy on the crosswalk sign), someone was preparing to make a turn right in my path. I stopped on the sidewalk so the guy would notice me. He didn't notice me and as I was crossing the road he began to make his turn...right into me. I had to do a little dance/jump/scream maneuver to get out of his way to avoid being roadkill. Luckily, I was able to escape, but when I looked back, he didn't even acknowledge the fact that he almost ran me down. Fucker. I hope he gets a flat tire. And a ticket for speeding on 95. But I know neither of those will probably happen.

a post for the boys

This post is for boys only, so if you're a girl, please click here.

OK men, now that we're alone, I want to ask a question. This was very disturbing to me and I wonder if I am the only one that this has happened to.

Today I was on the toilet, you know, pooping. Everything was going fine and then I felt something cold on my penis. I looked down and the tip of my penis was touching the toilet bowl. The TIP! Where the slit is. How dirty and disgusting is that? And then it hit me. How many other penises have touched the same spot on the toilet bowl? Is my penis smaller than most and most hang down into the bowl? Is it because I am too fat and my legs cause my penis to touch the bowl? WHY? Why, I ask? If I had a Q-tip I would have gone to town.

Has this happened to anyone else?

Now all I can wonder is how many other penises have touched that part of the bowl. Eww. I need to go to CVS now.

good bye old creepy/funny/strange canadian lady who talks about sex

This article on cnn.com talks about how Sue Johanson is ending her 6-year reign as TV's "sex grandmother". If you haven't seen this show, check it out. It is on kinda late, but that is what Tivo is for, right?

In her show, Johanson talks frankly about sex and sexual issues, as well as each week she demonstrates a sex toy and how it works. Oh, and she looks like your grandmother. Pure genius.

I'm toying with the idea of paying more attention to remembering the fucktards on the road so I can blog about them. It is a good way for me to vent my frustrations with the idiot and inconsiderate drivers of south Florida.

At lunchtime I went out to the bank and to Walgreen's to buy my Mother's Day cards (REMINDER - mail out your Mother's Day cards everyone!). After that I headed to the post office to drop off the envelopes. The post office in Oakland Park is in a weird area and you have to travel through a side road to get there. Along the way there are a couple of intersections, some with stop signs and some without. Well, I was at one of the ones that had a stop sign on my side and no stop sign for traffic going the other way. This asshole in a red convertible and uber-gay white sunglasses pranced through the intersection and stopped his car (there was traffic in his lane and a red light for him) right in the middle of the intersection! Who does that? So instead of him waiting to proceed into the intersection so other cars could go through, he blocked the entire thing so no one could move while we waited for his light to turn green. What an asshole.

I don't have to do much more driving today, so hopefully this will be the last of my road rants, but you never know... I really need a helicopter.

dooce.com - my new favorite website

My friend Stephanie recently recommended I check out one of her favorite sites, Dooce.

I love the Internet and am always grateful for a new site to add to my daily list of things to look at. Boy, Stephanie really hit a home run with this one. It is now my number three website that I look at every day (in order, see here). The woman who writes this blog is HYSTERICAL. And, AND, she posts a daily picture of her dogs, which for a dog fanatic, is right up my alley.

This blog entry totally made me crack up today. In fact, I think it made my day. Heh, Donkey Bellies.

* Image courtesy of Dooce.com

oooh, that smell

When I went outside this morning to take Millie for a walk I smelled a nasty burnt stink. That means it is time again for the yearly Everglades fires. In the spring and summer when we haven't had much rain, wildfires begin to burn in the Everglades. Last year there were quite a few and even Alligator Alley was closed a few times due to heavy smoke and flames. It is really interesting to me because we don't live terribly close to the Everglades, but as the crow flies, we're not very far.

Last year I remember the smell was kind of nice. If you're Catholic you might remember the smell of the incense that they sometimes would burn during Mass. I think it is Sandalwood. But this year it smells like burnt tires. Yuck.

so is blanche!

I love the girls!

some observations from I-95

I had an appointment in Boca today. On the way home I saw an older dude riding a motorcycle that was about as old as he was. The bike was loaded down with suitcases (yup, suitcases) and all kinds of crap. I only noticed him because it looked like the bike was going to tip over. As I got closer to him, I saw that his dog was riding in his lap. And not a small dog, either. This dog was only smaller than our dog, Millie. What was so funny/scary/interesting was that not only was the pooch wearing goggles, but the guy was holding the dog in such a way that he was able to pet the dog while he drove.

Once I exited the highway, I saw a homeless guy pushing another homeless guy down the road in a shopping carriage.

Of course the school bus in front of me didn't use his signal to indicate he was going to turn off the road. Par for the course.

cats who resemble wilfred brimley

I found this on BoingBoing, pretty serious stuff. Cats Who Resemble Wilfred Brinley (from Gato Island)

happy cinco de mayo!

Today is May 5th, Cinco de Mayo. If you're like me and have no idea what makes this day special, besides an excuse to drink tequila on Monday, check out this article on the origins of this wonderful holiday.

Sadly, this year I am not going to partake in the liquor soaked festivities. First, it is Monday. Come one now. Second, my parents are arriving on Thursday and I have a million things to do to be ready for their arrival. The combination of margaritas and cleaning will certainly spell disaster.

On another note, we had dinner at Nick's with some friends last night. I really enjoy this restaurant. Not only is the food good, but the atmosphere is fun. I think I posted about this place the first time we ate there, so I won't get into it again, but if you're itching to find out more about this place, check this out. UPDATE: Wrong. I have not posted about Nick's. I actually posted about my other favorite Italian place. The link will bring you there...

warm, wet, salty nuts

One of Steven's favorite treats are boiled peanuts. I had never tried one until today. Boiled peanuts are exactly as they sound: you take peanuts in the shell and boil them in salty water. They are supposedly quite tasty.

Steven's grandmother had boiled some peanuts earlier in the week and she offered them to us at her house today. I was excited to try one, as the concept sounded pretty good. Boy, was I wrong. Steven heated up the peanuts in the microwave and handed one to me. At first glance they look like a regular peanut in the shell, except they are shriveled up and wet. I wasn't off to a good start. Once you open them up, the peanuts inside are gray and kind of slimy. When I popped one into my mouth I immediately knew I didn't like these. It's like a slimy, salty booger in your mouth. I forced it down and made it clear to Steven that I was not going to be having any more and he could finish the rest. Yuck. But at least I can cross boiled peanuts off my list of things to try.

On another note: we were at Target today and a woman walked into the store with a small dog in her arms. This is one of those Super Targets that also has a grocery store inside. The management told the woman that pets were not allowed in the store, but somehow she convinced one of the workers to wait outside with her dog while she shopped. It was pretty funny to see the guy standing outside holding her dog in his arms. He didn't look too happy about it, but I have to say that was some pretty good customer service on Target's part to offer up a pet-sitter while the lady shopped.

vonage - third time's a charm?

We are going to give Vonage another shot. We have used them twice in the past and both times have not been happy with the call quality. After doing some research online, I found out that most Vonage customers were very happy with their service, but a select few (us included) were having problems where the caller on the other end of the line had a hard time hearing us. That didn't work out so well because both of our mothers were complaining to us that they couldn't hear us. Apparently there was some fight between Vonage and Comcast where Comcast was fucking with Vonage's traffic on the Comcast network. I hope that fight has been resolved.

The main driver for us is that we pay AT&T a lot of money every month. Our phone bill is around $80 each month. That's a lot for phone service. Heck, my cell phone bill isn't that much. Vonage charges $25/mo (plus taxes, which brings the bill to a little over $30), and they have a feature that I LOVE. When someone leaves you a voicemail, Vonage will email you the voicemail. How cool is that? No longer do you need to call your voicemail and check for messages. No other service offers that feature, as far as I know.

I am hoping that since some time has passed and we are now in Florida that our Vonage experience will be better. Plus, we have the Comcast Business Internet service, so hopefully if Comcast is still pissed at Vonage, they won't fuck with the business Internet customers. Stay tuned.

we've only got 5 minutes to save the world

My friend M gave me the new Madonna CD, Hard Candy. I woke up this morning singing "We've only got 5 minutes to save the world...". Why can't I get it right? We've only got FOUR minutes to save the world. Duh.

one realtor's outlook on the housing situation

Our friend and Realtor, Jim Johnson, recently wrote the following about his take on the current housing market. It is interesting and gives me a little sigh of relief that the housing market won't be like this forever, hopefully.

From Jim's newsletter:

A close analysis of the figures below confirm the market is at a turning point. Yes, it does require more information but prices have stabilized for the most part. It won't be too long until Broward County will start including "Short Sales" into their tax base. We'll hear more about that in the coming months. We keep hearing that NOW is the time to buy yet there are those of us that have serious questions with that statement. If you are paying $1,200 or more in rent perhaps now would be time to seriously consider purchasing. When prices start to rise we will be headed in the same direction as four years ago - a buying panic. Will prices escalate as fast? Probably not. Will prices go beyond the top of the "bubble"? Probably will. Despite the fact that we have hurricanes (predicted days in advance) every part of the country has their own disasters to deal with that bring just as much damage and destruction to property and human life. The Sun and Weather here in South Florida that always brightens ones life.

wonderful wii

Our friend M came over last night and we played the Wii. It was a spur of the moment thing and I am glad that we didn't have to go out. I was doing laundry and other domestic things that drive me crazy, but, unfortunately, need to be attended to. So when M suggested coming over to our place instead of going out, I was delighted.

It is coming up on a year since we bought our Wii. Normally I'm not a gamer, but some friends of ours in Boston showed us their Wii (sounds funny, doesn't it?) and we immediately knew we had to have one. Our only problem was finding one. All the stores were out of them. I found some on Ebay, and while we paid more than we would in a store, my quest for instant gratification was satisfied when the package arrived and inside was my new Wii.

Fast forward almost a year. We have logged in a lot of serious Wii hours, but lately we haven't been using it as much. Our friend M was asking about some of the features on the Wii and I realized that I hadn't updated the firmware on my unit ever. So last night we got my little Wii all updated and ready for more gamer action in the future.

The one thing that I would like to do is to be able to have my Mii avatar guy roam around to other Mii's. It would be fun to go to someone's house and have your Mii there, waiting for you to play with him or her. The only way I know how to do this currently is to upload your Mii to your remote and physically bring the remote to someone's Wii or use your unique Mii code (see here) and upload your Mii to another Wii. I need to try this.

something pooped in our pool

OK, this post is nasty, so beware if you read on. Why I am posting this, you ask? Because it is my calling in life to educate you, dear readers, on the various dangers of living in south Florida.

You have been warned.

This morning I was out on the patio having a cup of coffee and I noticed that Millie practically had her snout in the water. This was unlike her because she HATES the water. At first I thought she was drinking the pool water, which would mean that something was wrong with her. As I stood up to investigate, she moved away from the pool. When I came to the edge of the pool I noticed a giant load of diarrhea had been deposited on one of the steps in the pool. I was stunned.

Who could have done this? I mean, this was a lot of poop. My first reaction was that Millie had been sick and dropped a deuce in the water, but then I remembered that would probably be the last thing she would do since she hates the water so much and has never, as much as I have begged her on rainy days, pooped in our yard. So it wasn't her.

Was it Steven? Did he sleep walk in the night and mistake our pool for the toilet? Probably not. He doesn't roam far from the bedroom in the night.

My last suspect was an animal. But what kind? I have seen lots of iguanas and lizards in our yards, plus birds and a mouse and snake, but none of those could produce this kind of mess. Some searching online revealed that it was most likely a raccoon. That doesn't make me very happy.

Today also happens to be the day that our pool guy comes to clean the pool. There was no way I was leaving a load of diarrhea in the pool for him to think we created, so I used the skimmer to remove it. Nasty, nasty, nasty. The good news is that we keep our pool quite chlorinated, so any remaining grossness will be killed by that.

I can think of a million better ways to start my day than finding that kind of stuff in the pool.

joe posa poses

Last night a few of us headed over to Lips for dinner and a show. The entertainment was Joe Posa, performing his one-man show, 'Joe Posa Poses' (say that three times fast!). It was a lot of fun. Lips was having a special where you had dinner and saw Joe Posa for a special price. The dinner was pretty good and Joe Posa was even better. We had all seen Joe once before on an afternoon cruise that we took a few weeks ago.

What is particularly interesting to me about Joe Posa is that although he looks fabulous dressed in drag, he has a smokin' body. Last night he performed as Joan Rivers, Liza Minelli and Barbara Streisand. After each skit he would literally rip off his outfit to reveal his muscular self and then dance around in a skimpy bathing suit. I've seen a lot of drag in my days, but never a show like this. It was a lot of fun.

After that we headed to our favorite bar, Scandals, for a nightcap. It was a great was to spend a Tuesday night.

the undisputed best set of photos on flickr, ever!

I think you will agree, this is the best set of photos on Flickr that you have ever seen (some are NSFW, but most are OK). Enjoy!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/momo0214/show/

ahh, so nice to be back to the gym

It was so great to go to the gym this morning. After last week's culinary debauchary, I am sure that I am a few pounds heavier and have just a little less room in my arteries. But, boy was it worth it. My Lean Cuisine lunch couldn't hold a candle to what we ate in Tennessee.

Anyway, I digress. Steven and I pumped our little hearts out at the gym this morning and I feel like a new man. Now all we need is to quit the ciggies, stop all the drinkin', eat lettuce more often and we're golden. Easier said than done...

Oakland Park man finds human skeleton in his backyard

Never a dull moment on Fort Lauderdale. We live on NW 37th Street. The skeleton in the tree was found 7 streets away. That's a little too close for comfort!

From the Sun-Sentinel:

A homeowner inspecting a freshly trimmed tree found an entire human skeleton dangling from the branches, the Broward Sheriff's Office said Friday.Workers had cut the branches of a tree in the backyard of Glenn Parker, 45, on the 1200 block of Northwest 43rd Street on Thursday.

The crew had been sent by the phone company so a repair team could get access to a nearby telephone pole, the Sheriff's Office said.Parker inspected the tree Friday afternoon and found the human remains hidden behind the remaining foliage.Authorities on scene were able to remove a skull, a hand and the rest of a skeleton, which had been dangling several feet off the ground, the Sheriff's Office said.

The Broward County Medical Examiner's Office will be examining the remains for a cause of death, though authorities believe it may have been suicide.The skeleton had probably been up in the tree for at least a year, the Sheriff's Office said.

chinese food, and then?

If you've ever seen the classic (not) 'Dude, Where's My Car?', you may remember the part where the dudes go to the drive through Chinese food place and the woman taking their order keeps saying "And then?". The dudes get so mad, they smash up the chinese food speaker thingie. Here is a clip if you don't remember: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ez8S5BqaNlw

Last night we ordered Chinese food and the man on the phone kept saying "And then?". It totally cracked me up (in my 12 year-old mind) because I immediately thought of Ashton Kutcher in that scene. While my order taker guy didn't keep going and drive me crazy, it was good for a laugh while we waited for the order to arrive.

And then? We went to bed.

miami, you've got style

who's a slut?

spam cracks me up

Do you ever look at the subject line of spam messages? Sometimes I just have to laugh. I frequently check my spam folder to make sure that my overzealous Outlook hasn't moved legitimate messages to the spam folder. Usually 1 in 300 is a real message, but I like to check just to be certain.

I have to give the spammers some credit - they are pretty clever with the titles. Here are some of my favorites from today's spam folder check:

• Conrad Mugnus! Best Cialis from Canada. - Conrad Magnus? That's a porn name if I ever heard one.
• Works with sexual stimulation. - what does? A toaster?
• Women love men who take the little blue pill. - Yeah, Aleve is so good.
• Britney is lesbian. - Yeah, so? That won't get me to open your email.
• Sniptious things for your style. - Sniptious? Is that even a word?
• No impotence. - That's right. No!
• Does your penis size ruin your life? - well, not really, but thanks for asking.
• Huge tool to please your lassie. - oh yeah, now that's what I'm talking about.

gatlinburg - our last night :(

Boo. We are back home in Fort Lauderdale now. That means back to reality and I simply am not ready for all that just yet. Luckily, I took tomorrow off, but my day is already full with things I have to do. I am very excited to pick Millie up from the dogie camp and give her a big kiss. I miss my dog.

I can't say enough about how much fun we all had in Tennessee. Our cabin was out of this world, the food was superb, Dollywood was a hoot, and most of all, I really love the group of friends that we travelled with. I think we all travelled well together and I am grateful for this experience.

gatlinburg - coming to a close

I am so lucky. The 9 of us that travelled to Gatlinburg have had such a fantastic time. Never have I travelled with such a large gro